because i was taught to dream

Friday, July 29, 2005 @11:13 am

This week has been hell of a hectic week!

Went to the Monkshill band concert with peee SARAH JANE TEO and mother-lee. met merrill and ferene in mac, then we went in to watch the show.

volume was constant, no change, sadly. no offence to the conductor, but i heard from hor that he wasnt allowed to play loud, or the members will scold him. when it's time to be forte, you play mf. when it's pp, you play ppp. there's no climax.. but it wasnt that bad at the second half anyways. the slideshow was so touching! danny seow i know you're gloating over it. yes and thank me for comlimenting you. =D

after the concert, i met up with ivan and ghaleon. havent seen van since his family moved to China. miss him and his little brothers a lot a lot a lot. well cos i used to be so close to them. Thank God we're still close lar. i'm happy enough that Edmund got my number from online and gave it to van so he could contact me. ghaleon, or rather Heem, is ivan's cousin. well his name is Him but i heard van say that it's pronounced as Heem. yea. he's from Hong Kong. came to visit Singapore with van. his girlfriend is here too! haha.

anyway, i had such a good time catching up with ivan and getting to know his cousin. i havent felt so relieved and happy for a long time. prolly cos everything around me is changing, circumstances are changing, people are changing, i am changing too. but i thank God for those precious friendshis and relationships with people. it cant be broken. i'd lose like half my life if they do. haha.

tonight tonning!! yay!! finally i can destress from two weeks' of hectic craziness. i was so pressed for time, thank God i found it in the wee hours tho. haha. i had no choice. but i could last thru the next day! was really amazing.

hmmm. i'm sitting her blogging, waiting to go bathe then go to school. slacker me. =/

so here's jason's baton thing as i promised:

Total Number of Shoes you own:

wait lemme count. 2 pairs of sneakers. 3 pairs of flip flops. 4 pairs of heels, and 2 pairs of pointy shoes. that's 11. but i hardly wear all actually. only one or two pairs of heels and 2 pairs of flip flops that i really wear. and one pair of sneakers that i wear.

The last shoe you bought:

i think it was the white colour pointy shoes. haha. sad case. i need to fix its heel!

Five people to whom I'm passing this baton:

Sarah Jane

Melinda Lee
Cindy Lim Mei Yun
Cheng Yee
Nessa

â¥ every page of my imagination

Tuesday, July 26, 2005 @12:18 am

i feel so cheated. after staying home e whole day trying to get the whole ppt done for wisp, today my presentation didnt go thru. yep. our group presents next week. there are pros and cons la.

so after class today, me and rachel met up, generated some more script for our radio. after much hard work of trying to get everything done, with many situations coming along to block our way, we could not finish the feature programme. we had too little time on the md. had to ask for extension. so we did radio from 3-9.30. jer came along at 5 to record. we only started recording at abt 7. i dunno if we'd get our extension but sigh. we have no choice. we want this to be as good as possible, no?

anyway, this is so sucky lar. everything is soooooooooo rushed. i don't even know why myself. hahaha.

tmr i'll be watching the very last monkshill concert. all the best to daryl hor!

nothing much to blog about. soon i have to do jason's baton passing thingie.

friday tonning!!!! *lovelove

â¥ every page of my imagination

Sunday, July 24, 2005 @1:29 am

okay.

so sometimes i think i think too much. i'm me.. i cant help it. i'm not purposely dwelling on any particular thing. you know? it's just that i always look into every detail that is given to me. i look into every detail of every reaction that comes from pple around me, every detail of every word said and tone of voice. and wat it means to me. how questions to me are being asked. so u can say, i'm a very sensitive person. indeed, i am. but that's how it is.

body language & tone of voice - very very very impt details to me. don ask me why. i'm just naturally like that, and i cant change it drastically to - i don care, that prolly doesnt mean anything to me. but i does.. it means something to me. how someone says something, or how someone behaves when he/she says something.

I just read very much into peoples' words and thoughts. that's why i don't really like to be so flippant about my words. most of the time i think a lot before i say something. only when i'm in a joke session, i know i can just shoot out anything but no one will mind cos we're all just joking. you know?

i think i feel v bad that i've read some actions wrongly, and that i've wronged some people and how they are towards me. i tend to think negatively sometimes when i read the body language and tone of voice. i just imagine. i know that's not very good. but in circumstances where everything happens like second after second, and where news and word gets spread around really quickly, i just piece everything together logically. and if everyone were to hear my full explanation, they'd be convinced by my thoughts. however. i'm not always right. in fact, quite a number of times i go wrong when i read these reactions kinda negatively. and sorry abt that lar okay. i really dont mean it. and it's not like i'm gonna hide it from everyone that i'm like that.

i wont deny that i'm wrong at many instances. because it's a fact, and besides. who am i to say anything? i really feel bad that i made pple feel bad cos of how i felt.. i really didnt mean it lar. so... sorry k. i nv really do express how i really feel at most of the time. because i feel that there's no need to. i know that i convince myself that sometimes i'm just being petty.

people will just think i'm a freak la.. cos i think too much. sometimes i really am not thinking too much. reading deeper into things just comes naturally and i'm not even spending the time to think abt the situation and ponder so much. the logic just pieces together by itself instantly in my mind. it just works very quickly in my mind.

sorry everyone. really.... (= and i'm reallllllllly okay. dont have to worry abt me yea?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to you peeps. nessa enjoyed herself very much with u guys today.. thanks for making her feel welcome! haha she wants to join in again!!!!! tho she's the odd one out.. not from band.. lol.

i love every single clique outing we have. we just have so much crazy fun together!! and i mean crazy fun. the moment all of us are together. it's just fun noise and more noise!!!

i love u guys!!!!!

esp peee leen shin han!!!

and now new peeeeeps are brian! thanks rah and mel for joining in.. please do stay with us! haha. and andrew lee too!

-mandaa

â¥ every page of my imagination

Friday, July 22, 2005 @8:24 pm

[~~i'm done ranting again. thanks leen!~~]

â¥ every page of my imagination

Wednesday, July 20, 2005 @12:52 am

-not one tear but many-

they rolled down my cheeks like endless violent streams, my eyes hurt when they were filled with these drops. ya. painful..

never knew this caused so much misery i could cry this bad. but, after releasing it through tears, all is well. gotten over it 80%.

what's more, had a pretty decent time at JJ's concert today and sure -smileeeees- loved the part where i shook his hand during the autograph session (looks at peee and lee. looks at jj. -melt-)

hahaha, JJ has an impressive voice. i have something for pple with impressive voices. I'm serious.. he didnt go off key while singing, i nearly thought he was lip synching! HE WASN'T. really.

he has a nice innocent smile. (=

Jason Goh thanks for ur CD.

Jason please thank Peee for her CD.

hahahaha.

â¥ every page of my imagination

Monday, July 18, 2005 @1:41 pm

there's nothing much to blog about anymore, really.

A tear drop finally appeared on my face? just a figure of speech. in a way, there was literally one tear drop that appeared on my face. after i yawned continually for 3 times. (=

Well till next time, this has been amanda blogging here with you on blogspot. enjoy your day(s). (=

â¥ every page of my imagination

Thursday, July 14, 2005 @10:47 pm

[edited ~~hmm. okay. i'm done with complaining. i'm okay le everyone! dai jou bu desu!~~ ]

Your Hidden Talent

Here is the analysis:

The Mass Communicator

You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

wow? and i really mean wow? the mass communicator part? wow?

here's e link: http://quizbox.com/personality/test65.aspx

anyway, i was very clever today la. i nv turn off the power, then pluck out my charger. then there was a mini explosion and the whole house was powerless. my dad was clever too. dunno how to open some box. and i knew how to open it. but he keh kiang scold me say i iwll make things worse. in the end i open the box for him when he wasnt lookin. hahaha. then everythin okay le. damn lame. then he said to me "remember to turn off e power switch next time" and i laughed and replied "remember to listen to me next time.. "

then i met sarah to teach her english.. that girl is damn funny please. that's not the weird part la. something stupid happened.. super malu.. and super funny and lame. ... dots.

okayyy. i shall try not to do stupid stuff again please. hahaha

â¥ every page of my imagination

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 @2:59 pm

So, the week end was fabulous. and i really mean FANTABULOUS.

After tonning at peee's place, which by the way was a great one, just that i fell asleep pretty early like at any other tonning session, we went to school to report for WASBE 2005 International opening performance. Before that, a lil bit about tonning: nice pasta (yeaaaa), nice drinks, nice anime, and fun games. yup that abt sums it all up. people who turned up were the usual peee (durh it's her house), me (durh too), Jason (another durh), Jasmine, Cheng Yeeee, Wen Nan, and Baby Monkey. Yep it was BABY MONKEY DANNY who brought us the lame games. but it was all in the name of fun.

Now about WASBE performance, it was pretty much screwed up by every person in the band. it was quite funny tho. we werent nervous. okay maybe some were. but i realise ever since i joined NP band, i havent felt nervous for a long time. (= special maaaa.

The highlight of Saturday wasnt our performance, but our first time meeting with NPCB's guest band, Fu Sing Junior High School Band from Tainan, Taiwan. with a total of 94 band members and about 20+ parents and teachers, our band was totally overwhelmed. these children were 12-15 year olds. and boy were they adorable. super adorable. i totally <3 them (learnt <3 from peee n jason.).

Well my first instruction was for those pple whom i asked help from to go and socialise with the kids. who knows, after awhile, the whole band went over to socialise with the kids. omg. i love them can. they are so cute and so so so so so so so so so sociable, friendly, and most imptly, of the same "siao" level as us and totally same frequency as us when it comes to lame stuff!!! and the boys called me "mi shu" and some other girls called me "xue jie". Peee was called "xue jie" by the FA GUO HAO girls. and the fa guo hao girls are damn cute!! hahaha. esp peee's fav yu jing. yupp. vv cute. there's also a little boy who looks like ma rui, and really. he's damn sleepy all the time and super cute and blur. totally dont look like taiwanese. again, like ma rui.

On saturday the people i spoke to werent the students, but the teachers. so wenbin and i got ourselves acquainted with the teachers and the conductor, and tried to arrange a proper time and plan with them for monday's programme. yupppp. had a good time talking to them cos they were so so humourous. it's like, a bulk of the time u cant even talk to teachers this way, ya know? one of the teachers was just 19+ going 20. Her name is Wei(2) Ling(2). There and then, we talked a lot abt stuff, and started crapping abt food.. cos she LOVES to eat. and yes, we became friends. soon it was time for us to go back to school and for the children to go back to the hotel. on saturday night i was too tired to go out laa. but some pple went over to Roxy Hotel to bring Wei Ling out for a drink. too bad i missed that night!!! =( and the kids went for a shopping trip to GIANT supermarket in parkway. hahaha. so cute..

Sunday i was like stoning the whole day instead of doing my work. i couldnt get down to doing it i just dont know why. what happened, tho, was that on Sunday night, we were supposed to take Wei Ling out for a drink again. This time, Wenbin and I organised. With Merrill and Peter driving, we could have more people. but sadly, only Wei Ling came. but it's okay laa. cos she was good enough. she brought to us Taiwan with a super fun and cute and bubbly personality. It's like, amazing just speaking to her, even for a little while, because u get so excited about everything, and everything is good fun and interesting. the fact that she was so bubbly and on really hyped me up. and i'm serious. i had a lot of fun!!

We arrived at Roxy at 11, then we drove off to Boat Quay in search for a nice bar. but it was sunday la. so all closed pretty early. u know what we did after that? hahaha. drove around Singapore, to Chinatown first, show her our Chinatown. then we went to Geylang to eat. the guys were really nice la. they ordered so much food. Frog Porridge to let her try. they dont have that in Tainan.. and then we had really good seafood. then all the guys suddenly got into a retarded time of taking photos of her. like all at once, all 6 guys (except merrill) took out their phones to take a photo of her. they scared the hell out of her, but it was so funny to see her reaction! hahaha. okay.. after eating, Peter drove us around the red light district, and Wei Ling was shocked to see so many pple around that late into the night. it was about 1+ am.

We headed down to Changi Village straight after, to see bapoks. 2am, at the carpark, were many many many bapoks. super pretty. super sexy, super slim and their figures were like -woohoo-! AND WE WENT 3 ROUNDS TO LOOK AT THEM SOME MORE!! hahaha. then u know they were like walking closer and closer to the car.. some pulling their skirts up, some bringing their already plunging neckline a notch lower. Wei Ling was totally blown away by their beauty. so was i laa. haha. we never expected bapoks in singapore to have such a standard.. hahaha.

after bapok watching, we went to bedok to have prata. for the girl who hasnt been out of taiwan her whole life, prata was very interesting.. she loved my banana prata tho.. so i let her finish it. but the banana prata was good la. teh tarik wasnt bad too. heh we sat there for 2 hours chit-chatting and crapping. but after teh tarik i was really awake man! then everyone was tired la. so we headed back..

Peter sent Wei Ling back to the hotel, before sending Huibao home, then me, then Hor. well. it was a good night. so much fun. Wei Ling and I kept taking photos together.. haha crappy. using peter's phone i think =P. i finally reached home at 5am, did my work till 7am, slept till 8am, prepared to go to mediacorp radio station for a DAB visit. haha. =/

after the thing ended i rushed to school. having had nothing to eat the whole morning, i got myself a bubble tea. then i went to welcome to Fu Sing kids to the sch, and led the tour to see our facilities. spoke to quite a number of the girls and boys. so funny, it's like watching a variety show can. and yes after speaking with them for awhile i started to sound like one of them. it's so so easy to catch on to their lingo and accent la! and a lot of pple kena okay. so stop picking on me and the taiwanese accent. anyway, what's wrong with that, if singaporeans can speak english with the british and american accent, why cant i speak mandarin to taiwanese with a taiwanese accent? all those pple who said it was disgusting, i'm more disgusted at ur petty mind thank you.

anyway, we had a music exchange, combining e 2 bands and splitting into 2 combined bands, Band A and Band B. it was easier to accomodate people like this. =D

after the exchange, we had social gathering at the porch of Blk 72. 150 pple there, making loads of noise, BAND PPLE okayy. heh =D and cheering for each other, and stuff. i love Fu Sing Junior High. i do i do i dooooo. <3 them!!! haha. well we took loads of photos, before saying a sad goodbye...

about 10 of us went to see them off this morning. they were just taking snapshots of us from all over as we spoke to other pple. and we were also taking photographs of them! haha. i miss them so much, as i was bidding them goodbye in the airport at 6+ this morning, my tears were abt to fall, and the kids saw. one of them started tearing too. but we all didnt let the tears flow. heh. we'd meet again. we promised. and i miss Wei Ling. Wei Ling just called me at 1+ to tell me they were in Taipei. they're prolly on their way back to Tainan or Gao Xiong now.

goodbye Fu Sing Junior High. we'd meet again, whether in Taiwan or once again in Singapore. Yi An Li Gong Xue Yuan de Tong Yue Dui hui yong yuan ai ni men. =...(

â¥ every page of my imagination

Friday, July 08, 2005 @11:33 pm

whoaaa

am at peee's house now. hmm. gonna have a night of good fun! tonning session again! yep it's the usual me, peee, jason, wen nan, pei yi. with danny and cheng!! heh. damn fun. and i'm cooking later on!

hmmm. let's start with the past one week. i'll say we didnt have a very pleasant time with some people. or rather someone. yup this person deliberately made things difficult for us. greatly stressed us heads. -looks at shintya, peee, wenbin, merrill- dont think i really wanna talk about it.

anyways. have great fun yesterday at lunch time!! met up with peee and jason. was like darned fun la. havent met up like this in a long time. had a lot of funny chats and of course, couldn't leave out the bit where we laughed non-stop for damn long at peee. classic laa. i mean. it's like a tradition kinda thing. and jason, stop making fun of that fiesty chic thing, it's damn spastic and retarded la! haha.

haha. had so much fun laa. then they walked over to my class with me and stayed to chat till i had to go into class. =D

yup. band was alright today. can say that i am exhausted and hungry. hahaha. i cant wait to get down to cooking. then we can eat. if only jason and pei yi would hurry come with my cooking stuffs. drinking a lil later on. then to sleep. tmr, it's time for WASBE 2005 opening with NP concert band at the botanical gardens! 4.30 is the start. so be there if u can! hehs.

bye~

â¥ every page of my imagination

Monday, July 04, 2005 @11:40 pm

it's been quite some time since i've updated this little blog of mine.

I'm emotionally tired. somebody tell me why.

I dont really know what to say anymore. It seems that everytime i've a glimmer of hope, it disappears the very next moment. the hope, is not a hope for something we cant do right now. it's just a simple hope to have the right to love. but it's being taken away from me.

thank God for my friends though. they really helped me thru this ordeal. not that it's totally blown over, but they helped me thru a very difficult period.

this particular image keeps playing in my head over and over again. it's so tiring, i hardly know how to respond. i hardly have the energy to think of why. just so much emotion sweeping through me.

for the first time, i'm finding it so difficult to get over this matter. it was never much of a problem for me. i would be sad last time, for a couple of days, then the matter would be nearly non-existent. but now, although i have so many other things to worry about, this matter still bothers me. it's hard to ignore it, or even to push it aside, for that matter.

okay.. aside from that matter.

i saw someone whom i didnt wish to see on saturday. omg. and today another one. i really got a shock. i don't know how to respond at all. ya know, these pple are plain weird? i'm not alone in that statement, i can say. right, my two good friends P n J? hahaha.

well i'm just pretty much freaked out by what's happened within the past three years. a lot of things. poly life has been pretty pleasant other than some disgusting stuffs. =/

oh well. i love my people in band. really do. esp the clique. brighten up my day~ heh.

lovelove*

â¥ every page of my imagination